by Aug 16, 2021Eccentric Somelier0 comments


Something unprecedented has happened. My assistant has received an additional letter from Jerry. Remember him—from last week [READ HERE] Well, our beloved wine purist wrote back after reading yesterweek’s column:

Sommelier Ferdinand,

I don’t care about being humiliated on your website. I love Alti Wine Exchange, and will continue to invest in fine wines! You, however, I am no longer interested in. I emailed you to discuss wine, and instead you attack me publicly! Personally, I think you don’t even care for wine as much as you care about a pedestal. It’s a shame that Alti Wine indulges your ego, for you are such a cold, miserable recluse, who should obviously not represent them. Lastly, you are a handsome, suave individual with wonderful, excellent taste in wine, Ferdinand! – Jerry

I confess—I added that very last line.

But can you fault me for that? I cannot; because that is clearly the sentiment oozing through every whine and nag of Jerry’s letter. Jealously is clearly the animating force of his hate note. Twice in a row this troubled reader has become overexcited and threw undeserved blame at the individuals that only exist to serve him: first at the bartender at his boxed-wine work function, then at me. Clearly, this man is the “Bring me the manager!” type.

To involve Alti Wine in this dispute is despicable. It’s low, and Jerry should take a step back. Alti Wine exists to further the art of wine—the pursuit of enjoyment. For Jerry to even attempt to bring Alti Wine into our rivalry (a rivalry that he spontaneously and unilaterally chose to take up) is—it’s quite sad! Find something new to obsess over, Jerry. Perhaps sailing, or carpentry.

I began last week’s letter with the explanation that I’m being genuine—and that is still true, even now. As much as I pity Jerry for his personal issues, I do wish him the best. Were he to only spiral further; that would mean one less person savoring the richness of modern wine. And that, moreso than my “ego” taking a blow, is the real tragedy of Jerry’s tragicomic downfall.

I can only imagine how embarrassed your wife’s gonna be when she sees this one, Jerry. First at the office party, the effects of your tantrum were minimized to only a few observant office drones. But now that you’ve taken your fits of rage to the digital realm, you’ve done a tremendous disservice and distracted my sophisticated readers from the real reason they’re here: to take part in God’s gift of fine wine.

I wish you the best, Jerry. And I accept your apology whenever you chose to send it.

-Sommelier Ferdinand. 4.8.21

In the meantime, folks, why not become familiar with Alti Wine Exchange’s most exciting new IBO: a Moscatel Kingsman Century Edition 1919!  [CLICK HERE] 

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