Boxed Wine and an angry recipient.

by Aug 10, 2021Eccentric Somelier0 comments

What an experience, to receive all your criticisms. That would shake any normal individual. But I’ve spent years having my judgments under a microscope, so I’ve learned to shut my doors to it.
You are all welcome to try—but I won’t be changing any time soon!

Speaking of judgement, yesterday I received this letter:
Mr. Sommelier Ferdinand,
Me and my wife went to a corporate event last week for our firms, and they served glasses of wine with the standard drink ticket ordeal. I peeked behind the bar counter, however, and saw the bartender filling our cups with BOXED WINE! I couldn’t believe it and I nearly threw a fit. Personally, I found it an affront to wine; and you must too. -Jerry

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, you must behave yourself!

I don’t mean to be flip; I’m being genuine. This was a work-related event and you must understand that the way humans use wine—in the greater world, beyond our niche—is that wine is a handy component of social interaction. In my world, full of sommeliers, wine dealers, and educated consumers, it’s an art; but in the context of a work event, you need to understand that you’re powerless to group behavior. Heck, that’s why you have drink tickets! It’s practically a watering hole with the loose semblance of organization, to keep your jungle creatures from eating each other and the surrounding spouses.

You should be mixing and shaking—and instead you go off and “nearly throw a fit”…and there’s a long line of professionals who have nothing to do but look forward at your display! Sure, Jerry, I love wine as much as you (much more, in fact!)—but it’s imperative to pretend you don’t, at certain times. Feel the social current, then hop on an inflatable tube and ride it among your uncultured coworkers.
Next time you catch yourself about to throw a fit over boxed wine (SIDENOTE: those should technically be called “pouched wine”, because “box” is a euphemism we shouldn’t entertain), ask yourself if it’s worth it. If you don’t know, maybe ask your wife: How would she feel to be till-death-unparted with the guy berating an overworked bartender?

Sorry to humiliate you, Jerry, but your plight provides a lesson: Wine expertise is golden, but it must be supplemented with common sense. We all agree with you on the merits, believe me—but your response was questionable…

-Sommelier Ferdinand. 27.7.21

Explore More from Our Blog

Ever heard of a wine cocktail?

DEAR READER, I hope some of you learned from the reader letter last week [hyperlink to Week Ten post] and checked your attics! You never know how much wine sits above you, waiting to be uncorked and decanted—on someone else’s dime! Dear Sommelier Ferdinand, I have a...

What on earth is a ‘Wine Decanter’?

DEAR READER, It’s come to my attention that many of you are ill-informed, misinformed, and frankly, uninformed about how wine is to be consumed. Were I only a wine enthusiast, it would be wholly dispiriting. But—wine is my profession, and I’m obligated to recognize...

“What’s My Next Question?” – Benjamin Kaplan

What’s My Next Question? On a random day like today 11 years ago, a legendary Harvard Law professor and lawyer, Benjamin Kaplan, died at 99 years of age. A rich, marked life that left an impact long after his last breathe. Apart from influencing the likes of Ruth...

Wine that Makes You Look Up

Wines that Make You Look Up Can you imagine having a device that magnifies your view and never thinking to look up, never pointing it toward the sky? Until August 25, 1609, nobody had. Enter Galileo Galilee, the man who changed the way we see and interpret all that is...

Should you be swirling your wine before consumption?

DEAR READER, Through all the melodrama of the past few weeks, I’ve neglected to educate the newcomers about the art of winetasting. So, I dug deep into my inbox for this query: Sommelier Ferdinand, I went to a ball last night and wasn’t aware of the proper pre-drink...

Sommelier Ferdinand answers “What’s the point of drinking wine from a hundred years ago?”.

DEAR READER, I’ve heard what you’ve all had to say, and I’ve decided to reach out to Jerry, once again, to bury the hatchet. Who’s to say if he would be open to making amends… but I made the effort, on behalf of all you insightful readers! I’ll keep you all updated on...

BOXED WINE AND AN ANGRY RECIPIENT – A FOLLOW UP

DEAR READER, Something unprecedented has happened. My assistant has received an additional letter from Jerry. Remember him—from last week [READ HERE] Well, our beloved wine purist wrote back after reading yesterweek’s column: Sommelier Ferdinand, I don’t care about...

Transcending Time through Wine

On August 11, 1888, The Scientific American published its 658th issue, replete with exciting findings. From “A Study on Whirlwinds,” to “The Distillation of Peppermint" and thoughts on the human conscious, this popular science magazine had already been around since...

Sommelier Ferdinand answers “What it takes to become a Sommelier”.

DEAR READER, As the grapes grow richer, so do the bottler and buyer! Wine is an investment, my dear readers. Never forget the long game! Now, for some advice you folks have solicited: Sommelier Ferdinand, I want to be a sommelier, like yourself. I have the respect for...

Harry Potter and the Magical Creation of Seña 2007

On July 21, 2007, J.K. Rowling released her seventh and final book of a most memorable series. In just 24 hours, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows sold more than 11 million copies! On that same day, in a land more fascinating than Hogwarts, Seña 2007 was getting...

This week Sommelier Ferdinand answers the difficult question “Which do you prefer: Red or White?

DEAR READER, Some wrote in after last week, wishing me happiness…? Sending me love…? What do you all think, I’m still in love with Matilde? Save your pity for someone who needs it, I beg you! Anyway: Sommelier Ferdinand, Which do you prefer: Red, or white? -Clarise...

What do former First Lady of the United States, Mrs Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis and our Émeri Cuvée wine have in common?

On July 28, an icon was born. A lady with poise, mystery and bravery. A lady so well known, yet little understood. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. Jackie O. As the First Lady and alive, or just a memory in 2021, Jackie stood out. Great Châteaus are a lot like that too,...